Let’s define obsession: Obsession. The individual is consumed by thoughts of romantic intrigue. The mind seems to whir away of its own accord, devises plots and plans to obtain the romantic high. Concentration is shattered, judgment impaired. Obsession begins the cycle that drives the individual to the next phase and beginnings the cycle that drives the individual to the next phase and intensifies as the process plays itself out. (Steve Arterburn).
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Hint #1: The morphing of the “object of obscurity” (refer to the idea of the Obscure Object of Desire from Jeffrey Eugenide’s Middlesex)into a Zahir(if this also puzzles you, refer to Paulo Coelho’s The Zahir) happens always. That’s why it’s not a process. It’s like an unresolved inner conflict. If you don’t get answers, you don’t get sleep. The good news is, you don’t get trapped at first run. But if you find yourself back in square one, then I welcome you to the Zahir Transformation Cycle.
Hint #2: There’s a road to obsession. Just like there are steps in fishing with a pole. You get hooked.
*Snap*. Just like that.
Obviously, the first stage in the cycle is attraction. Falling in love is like crossing a frail narrow bridge. If you’re not to careful, you fall into the Zahir instead of the person itself. There’s a lot more than you think you need to protect from falling apart. Seeing fireworks at the first few minutes of meeting your potential Zahir can be dangerous. A lot of poems are dedicated to this experience. Most of them are actually about obsession rather than the first days of love’s spring.
Hint #3: Have you ever found yourself having fantasies? And these fantasies may not necessarily be erotic or sensual and sexual. Fantasies are simply defined as something to be unrealistic.
You play movies in your head. Maybe about a party that you’ll crash this week. Then he or she will unexpectedly show up even though you’re aware that he/she’s uninvited. He or she just lingers around a corner and you come to his/her rescue because they feel so isolated and so alone. And that’s basically where you two hit it off and suddenly, they start to need you. And you love it.
There’s this magic. You’re put under a spell. It gives your Object a sense of power because you’re giving them power.
Hint #4: Then there’s the need. To be in constant communication with your Zahir. To dream about your Zahir. To hear the song you dedicated to your Zahir. Songs to remind you of him/her. You’ve become a “specific container”. Your emptiness or fullness is dependent on the element that you can contain. Else, you pour it out and feel empty otherwise. Unmet needs turn into emotional pain. Depression and self-hate.
Hint #5: The novel(The Zahir) that inspired this writing brought up this question: Is it possible for a single person to contain two loves in his/her heart? It’s possibly, except when one of them turns into…
..a Zahir.
You just got out of a relationship with a Zahir. Now you have found the one but there’s some sort of force stopping you. Holding you back. Bothering you.
Only when you destroy the Zahir, can your heart be truly, fully someone else’s. Just be careful the next time you turn someone into another form of Zahir.
The Zahir changes its face. You’re back at the beginning.
